Children who have grown up in families where they are ignored or constantly criticized, shunned, overbearing, cold, or downright cruel often seek out similar situations as adults to experience the "love" they have come to regard as normal.
The kind of atmosphere at home has often been considered love. Not always, but often it may have been the case that what we despise is where we get stuck. Daughters who have been abandoned look for partners who will abandon them. Sons of critical mothers are often scolded by women, etc. Because it's a familiar path, a familiar feeling, a familiar energetic frequency to be at.
When we look at problems in relationships, we can see that they are relatively similar repetitions of how we are used to having these experiences in our childhood home. One Estonian clearvoyant Luule Viilma has said that until we resolve our issues with our parents, relationships will bring us the same situations again and again. In other words, if you have not forgiven your mother, no matter what miracles you have done to escape from your home or environment, somehow a friend or colleague with the same lesson still comes into your life.
So what to do in such a situation? How can we find self-worth in ourselves, where we have previously had the experience that we are worthless all our lives? How do you stop running away from yourself and accept this place within yourself?
After all, fear and panic before the next repetition are such simple triggers to close yourself off and fall into a sense of despair due to a lack of faith.
The problem with the children was that they were deprived of their freedom of personal choice, and we can still think in such places that we lack the power and freedom to change the situation. How do I take back my power and decide and choose that now I create my own life?
10 RECOMMENDATIONS ON HOW TO TAKE YOUR POWER BACK
1. I LET GO OF THE VICTIM ROLE AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
Even if I don't consciously remember it, before we were born we all made soul-level agreements about which stories we would play through. If we continue to blame (yes - in some sense you can say that you have been a victim!) and play the role, we can still experience the same patterns. Until the appetite is satiated and we choose to step out. If we take responsibility - I have created it myself - I will also gain the strength to change the situation myself. If I still secretly blame others, there is no way out of this vicious circle.
2. I CONFESS THAT THE APPETITE IS FULL
Souls do not make changes in their lives until they are full of appetite. We can literally lift the victim out of his mud puddle, wash him clean, comb him and pat him and show him a new way. But usually (if the soul hasn't really gotten the wool yet), one goes back to the old familiar pattern as soon as possible. Remember how the Pugman's knuckles grew back and he became a scratchy boy again? Just like that, you go back to the old rut. Until it really becomes woolly! As a victim, it's nice when someone feels sorry for us, we can curse the aggressors and point the finger everywhere other than ourselves. To wallow in your muddy puddle like this.
The sense of victimhood often unites people - "we are good, but they are bad". Immediately, a sense of unity is created. The trauma bonds that are generated in this way have often brought people together for a lifetime. But whether there is a real feeling of happiness and joy in this place is another question. It is much more difficult to be in a place where I am not in trauma associations. Such people, who do not want to run with these trauma stories, are considered arrogant, indifferent or even treacherous by people in trauma bonds.
If someone dares to tell them to help themselves out of this, you can do it - tools are provided, but instead of building a ladder for yourself with these "axes" and "hammers", these tools are set on fire and the dance of self-pity continues around the fire .
3. I TELL THE TRUTH
The truth is not that I grumble and whine. Okay, that's okay too. But the real truth we need is truth with ourselves. Where do I see that I am actually going against my own truth? Where do I suppress myself, create more and more tension in myself? It is necessary to admit and be honest about this. And then - if I choose to really love myself - also to live according to what I really think is best for me
4. THE SKILLS TO SAY YES AND THE SKILLS TO SAY NO
As I really feel, so I say.
5. STOP WANTING TO SAVE SOMEONE ELSE
"No one will save us but ourselves. No one can and must. We ourselves must walk this path." – Buddha
Read point 2.
6. GET AWAY FROM TOXIC PEOPLE
You can always say that you need to take time for yourself or that you are working on some kind of project that requires your full attention. You don't really have to report to anyone. But if necessary, you can always say that you need to take care of yourself.
If you realize that you have been that toxic person yourself, the recommendation is to find therapy to deal with your pain, not to project it onto others.
7. LEARN TO TRUST YOURSELF AGAIN
Look at what has happened in your life and remember what you felt, experienced and understood on this journey. Making conclusions before entering into new relationships is very useful in order to understand - your feelings will let you know at the right moment what experience you are really in.
Feelings don't lie!
8. DO WHAT YOU LOVE
Whether it's a hobby, a new job, a new meditation practice, a new park, a grove where you go for a walk - find fuel for your joy! Joy is a sign of alignment with the soul.
Joy helps dissolve toxicity and open the heart.
9. DO SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY
In this way, you will switch to a new flow, which will bring new experiences and new people into your life. If you do reiki or meditate every day, it is completely logical that your vibration level will rise and you will begin to magnetize people and situations in a new way.
I definitely recommend doing physical exercise, because the contact with the body gives a very good feeling and raises the feeling of self-worth to a completely new experience with just a few practices! Get used to the Love which is nurturing and truly caring. Find people who truly care, not just use you! First – be that kind of person to yourself!
10. FIND APPROPRIATE THERAPY
If you still feel tangled patterns, find yourself a helper - a counselor, a psychologist, a travel therapy practitioner who will help you get out of this current pattern mess. We are not designed to be lone wolves on this planet, unless we really want to be. Solutions are often just as far away as we dare to reach out.
A small investment in yourself can create a big change for a whole life. Instead of buying yourself a new gold chain or handbag, why not invest instead in coming to a lighter level of the soul, where we don't need to fill our inner deficiencies with external trinkets. If you're in a relationship and you're having friction, go to couples therapy.
There's no shame in asking for help. Do not waste your life on toxicity.
Difficult soul patterns are often painful to admit, because there can be such a great desire that my life would have turned out differently after all. Opposition to the existing only prolongs the coming of solutions.
Taking responsibility is an honest observation of where I am against myself and what needs to be accepted.
But if we clear these places within ourselves and stop resisting, we will regain our strength from all these pain points and rise like phoenixes stronger than ever. It brings the realization that we are actually very grateful – this new me, now more aware, empowered and in touch with myself, is a much cooler version of myself than I could have ever imagined! We can be grateful even before the solutions arrive, with this attitude we begin to get clear insights as to why this situation came to life for us.
So we can say that every experience has actually come to support us. Whether you take responsibility for your power and joy is everyone's choice!
Today is the beginning of a new lunar cycle, just the perfect time to start something new that you will thank yourself SO MUCH for in a month!
What is it that you choose?